You don't can speak French but it is not grave

The France explicated to the UK and USA

(the Rez-de-chaussée spirit traducted in english)

You think that you know the France because you have visited the Tour Eiffel and the Palay of Louvre. You think that you know the french people because 5 years ago, you have seen Sarkozy essaying to have politicoral sex with George W. Bush. And he has essayed to fellate Obama too, but your president didn't like the little man.

You think that we are bizarre, protesting all the time for a yes, for a shit. Recently your television has informed you that we have a new socialist president and that the french economy is in a black shit.

It is true.

Let me explain why we are like that. Our country is an old country. Longtime ago, when France was a kingdom, we decided to separate in two parts our king and our aristocracy. The head on one side and the body on the other side. This concept is called the guillotine, and it is a french concept. In 1789, the France invented the French revolution, in the name of Liberty Egality Fraternity...

I don't know if the revolution has served to something, but we have discovered one thing very important : we love say "No" to our leaders. It is in our ADN now, it is a kind of national sport in our country. I don't know how we unshit ourselves, but we have always a majority of unsatisfied, in train of gueuling in the streets each time that the power takes a decision. We know it serves to nothing because the government is branling of the popular manifestations, but bitch of shit !, we go manifesting in the streets anyway. Just for the pleasure of saying "Fuck you all" !

For example, take Sarkozy and the UMP... The UMP is the french party of right. Sarko has remported the elections in 2007 with a slogan : "Working more for earning more". We have understood very rapidly that it was a fucking of face (in France, we say "foutage de gueule"). So we have decided to make him shit each time we had the occasion. Sarkozy can confirm it : we love make shit the world. We have a great talent for that.

But it is the past. Now we have a new president.


It is not very respectuous, but we call him like that because he is too calm. Even inside his party, the PS, the socialists say Hollande is a Tagada strawberry. You must know that at the PS, nobody likes nobody. It is the normal ambience at the socialist party. A sort of concept. We have voted for them. Now we have taken for 5 years.

What wants Hollande for the France ? He wants to get out the France from the shit. How wants he to parvene ? He will engage 60.000 functionnars. You must think: "It will aggravate the french debt, and the France will be sanctionned by the financial markets". It is not grave: Holland will tax the financial markets. Hoplà ! And if a rich makes him shit, he will take 75% of his fortune. And now, who is the Tagada strawberry ?!?

It is why we have voted for François Hollande. Because he has made promises impossible to respect and we are curious to see how he will turn his jacket.

The french people has a wonderful country: the France. We don't know how to export our products, we don't know how to nick the face of the Chinese, we don't know how to stop the delocalisations, we don't know how to stop pollution, but we are the best to fuck about the face of everybody.


Portrait de Franz Bonhomm

Puis-je me permettre...

... de te demander le nom de ton professeur d'anglais ?


Portrait de admin

J'avoue que la question

... me brûlait les lèvres, à moi aussi.

Portrait de Un âne à Nîmes

J'ai appris sur le tas !

C'est la meilleure des écoles. Pourquoi, 'y a une faute ?

Portrait de Franz Bonhomm

A mon avis, le tas sur lequel tu as appris l'anglais...

... devait être exclusivement francophone. Personnellement, je ne vois pas d'autre explication.

Portrait de Un âne à Nîmes

Ça ne t'a pas traversé l'esprit

... Que peut-être je l'aurais un peu fait exprès, histoire que même les francophones non-anglophones comprennent mon article ?...


Portrait de Franz Bonhomm

Alors l'objectif est atteint !

D'ailleurs il n'y aura que les francophones non-anglophones qui comprendront l'article.

Ça me fait un peu penser à Julio Iglesias que ma mère m'infligeait, sous seul prétexte qu'elle était fan. Que le gars chante en espagnol, français, anglais, allemand, malgache ou serbo-croate, peu importe : de toute manière, il n'y avait que les Espagnols qui comprenaient ce qu'il disait.